Self-mothering is more than another wellness buzzword—it’s a personal philosophy for nurturing ourselves. As someone who tends to see the world through patterns and big-picture ideas, I've spent a lot of time thinking about what self-care genuinely means. 

One thing that's always bothered me about the modern capitalistic world we all live in is the belief that self-care involves constantly buying things and having endless free time to do them. 

All of it having it feel like you're failing if you don’t meet the current wellness trend. 

Make this shake
Buy and use this new beauty tool
Buy and use a dry brush your entire body every day 
Go to the latest workout class
Get a facial
Get a massage
Go to acupuncture
Shop at the farmers’ market
Shop at the supermarket 
Get your nails done
Have a blow out
Get your hair colored 
Get eyelash extensions 
Get laser treatments for your skin
Go to the naturopath 
Go to your regular doctor 
Go to your gyno
Go to yoga
Go to pilates 
Go for a run 

I could go on….. 

So follow me as I step back, push back, and think about what motherhood represents at its core.

As a mother myself I see something different. A mother is a guide. The act of self mothering is self guiding. 

Always having your best interests at heart. Mothers help us set boundaries, guide us toward making decisions aligned with who we really are, and gently point out when we've drifted off our path. A mother is the steady, outstretched hand ready to help us up whenever we fall.

In contrast, consumer-driven wellness often sells self-care as self-indulgence. It pushes elaborate routines and endless products, emphasizing a hyper-focus on yourself without considering the balance of life's deeper values and responsibilities.

It's not lost on me that all of this is ironic coming from me—I own a skincare company and regularly talk about self-care as an act of self-love. But here's the crucial difference: the kind of self-care I advocate is genuinely aligned with self-mothering. It focuses on meaningful actions, moderation, and genuine nourishment rather than superficial indulgence.

Being deeply immersed in the wellness world (seriously, you should see my Instagram feed—endless gua sha, LED light panels, microneedling, and dermaplaning), I've realized something important. 

Maybe true self-mothering means doing less, not more. Instead of a 15-minute gua sha routine at night, maybe it's about crawling into bed early with a good book. Or simplifying your elaborate skincare routine from six steps down to just three essential ones, giving you a few precious minutes to finish a nagging task that, when completed, lets you rest more easily.

Self-mothering invites us to pause and use our inner guidance to ask ourselves: 

What do I actually need right now? 

Will this support my well-being, or will it add more stress and overwhelm to my life?

Recently, I visited my dentist with a persistent toothache. During the exam, she casually remarked, “You're clenching your jaw—have you tried yoga? You need more relaxation to help with all this tension.” Her comment, though innocent, left me frustrated. I practice yoga five to six days a week, getting up at 5:30 each morning, dedicated and consistent. Yet, I felt implicitly judged—as if my commitment wasn't enough—that I needed MORE self care… That I was so tense that my teeth were suffering. But here’s the thing: the things that cause me stress are not helped by wellness, they are helped by setting better boundaries and protecting my alone time. 

What I wished she'd said was something more practical, more motherly: “Here's what's happening with your teeth—let’s talk about realistic solutions that work with your life; where do you think you could decrease your tension or stress?” 

Because right now, like so many of us, my most valuable resource is time. Between my family, my work at Botnia, and my self-care rituals, there's hardly any room left.

At its heart, self-mothering means honestly acknowledging the reality of your life and prioritizing what genuinely nurtures and supports you. It’s a skill and wisdom already inside all of us, patiently waiting to be recognized and cultivated.

xo,
Justine